I know something you don't know!

I think there is a baby in my Tummy!!!!!!!
YAY I hope!!!!!

Oh so freaked

Car crashes are bad!!!! Oh so scary!! I never ever want Brandon to drive to work again!!!

Lucian's Teeth

Lucian is teething again lately!!!! Yay his top teeth are coming in and the first one broke threw just this morning!!!!! Yay for Lucian. Hee hee at least he doesn't seem to mind in the least bit. LOL HE is a GREAT teether.
My tattoo is today!!! Maybe I should run!!! Oh the pain!!

Phantom

Last Saturday Brandon and I went to The Phantom of the Opera!! It was amazing! I have always avoided watching the Phantom when it has been on TV or anywhere in general because I really wanted to see it for the first time live. It was worth the wait, in fact it might have been even better than worth the wait, it was amazing. I loved every second of it.
I was truely amazed by the characters power! They blew me away, their voices just viberate through you like you couldn't believe!!!

Well anyway I just loved every minunte of it and had to post about it!!!!!

Yoga

Ok so I love Yoga, I kinda always have. I have been doing all sorts of Yoga since I was small. I do it 3 times a week. Recently Brandon hurt his back at work, he is always super sore now and doesn't do much but sit on the couch. Yesterday he says to me I should be streching more. Well of course you should Brandon!! So I said why don't you do some Yoga with me and so we jump on the floor and I put him into a few Yoga positions everything worked well and I wasn't hurting him any more than he already hurt. So things worked well. He calls me from work on his break and says, "I think I should start doing Yoga with you, my back feels a lot better." lol oh this is going to be so cute. I have been trying to get people to do Yoga with me forever. I kinda gave up.

Awww now when Lucian is older we can teach him Yoga too and we will all be a Yoga family. LOL

Lucian is teething again!

Back to the running nose and whinnyness of my poor beautiful son. As he is teething once again and now getting his top 2 teeth. I just hope they don't go back up. I would hate to go through all of this for nothing!! The poor little guy!

My Son Is My Everything!

Lucian is the only inspiration I ever need!

From the day he was born I knew he was worth the world ten times over!

I couldn't take my hand off you when we slept that first night I was so scared something would take it all away!

How my amazing husband was overcome when Lucian entered the world! I will never forget the love in his eyes!

When now Lucian you are seven months old and I don't know where the time has gone. You won't cuddle with me anymore but I know it is only because you are always on the go. To get a little cuddle in I know I have to get it right before you wake up too much after a nap or when you are super sleepy before bed. The days of Lucian sleeping in my arms is long over.

You are stuck in your ways before I even knew you could have ways! At times I get so frustrated that I can't tell you how things work or the ways of the world, and that if you would just sit still when I change you it wouldn't take half as long to do! I have never had such a love for something in my life.

When I married Brandon I thought I had found the most amazing thing this world had to offer me: a soul to which mine matched perfectly, someone who understood me without me ever having to explain, a person I could spend every single day with and not wish for anything more. Then Lucian was born and I realize what I thought was the best thing in my life had grown even bigger, even better but a hell of a lot scarier! My family is an extention of my soul and heart.

Now I have to keep that heart safe and close, away from evil and darkness. I know better than most where darkness and evil lurks, it is a scary thing to think about your children going though the lives we have lived, the troubles we have seen and the places even I dared not to venture.

I hope my children can learn from most of my mistakes as well as their own. Know that we love them and only want, what we believe to be the best things for them. Trust in themselves and their loved ones to be there when times get hard and things seem lost.

Just Believe.................................

Lucian is born.

BIRTH STORY
On January 17th at 5am I started feeling what I thought might be labor contractions but I really didn't know and I didn't want to go into the hospital just to be sent home. So I waited until about 8:30am and then we went into the hospital because things weren't really changing much. When we got to the hospital they checked me out and I was 4cm along and things looked to be moving along nicely. We then got moved to our own room and I jumped into the shower for a hour or so. Honestly I could have had the baby in there but there were nurses and doctors that kept coming into my hospital room and checking with stuff and I felt that they were all waiting for me to get out of the shower. So I did. This was at about 11am and they checked me and I turned out to be 6cm so they broke my water. After that contractions started to get really bad so I tried to get back into the shower but I just couldn't handle standing and having contractions. So I jumped back into the bed to see how that was going to be but the contractions were just getting to be a little much. I didn't want to have any drugs and didn't want to have an epidural but I just felt that being less stressed would be better for us all. I got the epidural at about 11:30am when I was 7cm along. Then things stopped. I didn't really move along and for some reason I could still feel all my contractions. Later on we found out they put the epidural in wrong so at 4:30pm they gave me another epidural and things started to move along quickly and by 7pm I was ready to push. I started pushing with all my might and at 7:59pm Lucian Eden Balian Gear was born into the world.

He has been the greatest little gift this world could offer. It is amazing how much your view on love changes when you give birth. Right after I had him I knew he would be our everything and that I would also be always oh so worried about him and everything around him and how things will influence him in life. But we will try our best as that is all we really can do and hope that what we think is best really turns out to be best. lol and that he makes great choices in life and we can offer him everything he needs.

So our little family has started on its way in life. Lets hope the path stays full of love and promise.

Welcome Lucian

Well first I must say I am sorry it took me so long to post this blog but I do think I have a very good excuse for not being able to. In my last blog I thought I might be in labor, well it turned out that that is exactly what it was. I went into the hospital at 9am and had Lucian at 7:59pm. Labor really wasn't that bad at all, at least not as bad as I was expecting. The crazy thing is that I got to come home the very next day.

Lucian Eden Balian Gear was born on January 17th 2006.
He was 9lbs 11oz and 20.4 inches. Brown hair, Brown eyes, 10 fingers, 10 toes, and compleately looks like his Father!!!

Maybe Labor?????

Well right now I may be in labor with baby but hummmmmm...... How do I really know??? I honestly hope it is labor because then baby is finally coming. It is kinda strange and all, for it to start today as I have a doctor's appointment in a few hours. lol if I still am unsure I will just go to my appointment and I am sure she will let me know if it is or isn't labor. As for now I am just letting everyone else get some sleep so that if it is labor they will all be ready for later on and a long day!!!! and if not then I didn't bother anyone with nothing. Which it really could be just false labor because as of now the contractions are a little bit off on the timing to be really labor. So yeah if it is false that is going to be oh so sad for me!!!!!!

3 day's overdue and going crazy!!!

Well I am now 3 day's overdue with baby and it is making me nutty. I just sit around my house waiting for something to happen and nothing is ever happening. Sometimes I start to get excited but then it always turns out to be nothing!!! I am seriously going crazy here. I woke up last night thinking that maybe I was having contractions but no such luck. It turned out just to be a cramp or something. I honestly think this is going to make me crazy if it last too much longer. One sad but good thing is that I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and she did say if by this Friday I haven't had the baby they will induce me. I really don't want to be induced but I guess I will just have to deal with whatever happens. At least I know the baby will be on it's way by this Friday no matter what.

Still no baby!!!

Well there is still no baby and I am still just sitting here waiting for it to show up. The longer it takes the less time my mom will be here to help me out. I will get induced this friday if it still has not made an apperance but I really just wish it would show today. I get grumpier and grumpier by the day!!!

Babies Due Date!!!

Well today is the babies due date!!! It doesn't look like it will be arriving anytime soon today. I guess I will have a few days of waiting or so. I am just hopeing it is soon as I am very sick of it already and I just want baby to come out and greet the world.

10 more days, I guess!!! Maybe???

Damn!!! People are so right about the last week or should I say the last two weeks!!! I am going crazy I want to just have the baby already. I didn't sleep at all, AT ALL last night and barely any other night this week. I hate this whole not sleeping, grumpy, can't get comfortable stuff. Personally I actually hope the baby comes early ummmmm like maybe on the 7th or just after that. Seeing as I would like my mother to be here when it happens and she is coming on the 7th!!
At least she is coming!! If I was all alone sitting here going into labor without Brandon home I think I would be really scared!! So lets just hope it all holds off until mom gets here but then that it happens right away!!!

I was even going to go out this week and try to take my mind off it all and have some fun, but after lastnight I really don't think that would be the smartest idea. I guess I am just going to have to wait for a while to leave my house. Maybe someone will just come to visit me this week instead!!!! Come on friends it is kinda scary to leave my house like this now. And I am really not into trying to make myself pretty!! lol

Well I can always hope for the best of it all. I am off to sleep on my living room floor on an air bed!! Lets hope that is better than the bed seeing as I don't do any sleeping in there anymore!!!